A Confession

Gotta be some kind of record...that someone who claims to love writing cannot come up with something worthwhile for three whole months...can we have a bloody applause everyone..? And if anyone out there cannot understand what's going on, that was the voice of my frustration. Had to get it out of the system, and now that it is out, we can move on. It is irrelevant, why, but nevertheless here goes: I've spent the last three months of my life brain dead at my office desk, unable to spew out a word, that might help me impress, the few people who read this blog. Actually, it's been longer, the last post about Love was complete bullshit. I don't know where it comes from or what part of me it feeds off of, but whenever I sit before my computer , I feel this impending and seemingly solid urge to write to impress.

Wow, did I just make up a catch phrase there:  To Write to impress..? Perfect bottom line for the United Posers Alliance of which sadly I think I might be a member of. But I'm done, I'm done writing for the faceless people out there who may or may not take what I have to say seriously, I'm done trying to impress them with Unicorns or other bullshit topic that have no obvious or subtle relevance to our lives, I'm done writing for anyone else's eyes altogether. This is not because I cannot find any idea to write upon, this is not because I cannot see beyond the blank screen in front of me. No, the reason for this is far more fundamental. I read my past entries again and again, and save a few, I cannot say that I've done an honest job. Not to myself, not to my blessing of an urge to feel better when I write, not to my teachers who first taught me to write. I read my entries and all I do is gouge my eyes with a three prong fork and shove it up my nose to my brain 'cos clearly it has no idea what my eyes were reading. It was a extremely profane insult to all those who taught me anything in life.

You see, teachers teach students not because they have an obligation, not because they have nothing else to do and certainly not because they cannot do anything else. They teach because they're one of the few souls left in this mundane world who believe that they can make a difference. They believe if they try to influence 50 minds in a good way at least one would be changed for the better. And that's, more than enough reward for them. And how do I know this..? I don't. The above was stated by my Mother word for word who used to be a professor. So I'm done insulting my teachers who are people I meet everyday who have new things to impart to me, to educate me on an everyday basis. I'm done insulting the greatest teacher of them all, my conscience. After all, anyone who can insult himself to impress a few faceless people can go fuck himself, for he's lower than a worm in the hierarchy of all things living.

So, there you go people, if anyone cares to read, I'm sorry but you may not find things written in this space in the future to your liking, but I cannot live with insulting myself for the sake of someone who may or may not exist. No more, happy fluffy stuff that makes your life feel like a rainbow, if you need that go back to reading Enid Blyton, no disrespect, but in the mean time come up with a plan to grow up. I'm sorry faceless stranger but I have no obligation to satisfy your need for a more supporting and inspirational material; I am not Chicken Soup for your soul. I am someone who wishes to write what he wants to write unobstructed and uncensored in his own little space, and that little space is called Integrity.

Whoever's reading this you should try doing this, ask yourself this question, whatever you're doing: am I doing this for myself..? Am I being honest to myself..? Most times the answer will be No. And when you arrive upon that revelation, say, "Fuck this...I'm gonna do what I wanna do and there's no one with guts enough to stop me..." Stop sticking to the norms that was set by someone who really has nothing whatsoever to do with your life, much less your decisions. If you can't defy the rules directly at least venture to do something that is equivalent to metaphorically sticking it to this rotten system. It's about time we took control of our own worlds and destroy anyone who even thinks about locking us within our own walls. It's about time we clean our toilets and kick in the asses anyone who tries to take a dump in it. Try it guys. It's actually quite relieving. I think I'm gonna sleep like a baby tonight after all.

...and we broke free of our chains and raised our bloody arms
our body weak, but drew the strength from our stout souls,
and uttered a roar, that sent chills down the spines of cowards...

#MoreToCome

All you need is Love...

Is it a truth..? Is it a fear..?
Is it a rose for my valentine..?
What is love..?
Is it only a word..? I'm trying to find...
Is this the way, that we're feeling now..?
What is love..?

Yes. Today, I'm writing about the most talked about and to some people, the cheesiest topic there ever was. But, yes, as you might have guessed, I'm gonna talk about it nonetheless. The line at the start are lyrics of "What is Love..?" by Take That. It's a particular favorite of mine, such powerful lyrics. Many an intellectual, literary genius, philosophers, have mulled over this unanswered question but to no end. What is this feeling that makes even the most enlightened one an idiot and makes men walk to the ends of the Earth..? What is this word that builds and breaks a man seemingly in an instant, that could give you the greatest of joys or the gravest of pains..?

I'm not here to offer a definition of love. That's not even the last thing I wanna do. No I'm just wasting this space to marvel at the sheer power that this feeling can muster. When I say Love, two out of every five people who read this are gonna think the feeling that each person feels towards another of the opposite or in some cases same sex. But, deep down we all know that Love is far more fundamental and a widespread feeling. It is the compassion that one person is able to express. It is that feeling that rises within us, whenever we see someone crying; that feeling that urges us to go near them and ask, just ask, "Is everything alright..?". It's that feeling that makes us put our arms around a friend and just hold them in their time of need. Its that feeling within us that makes us feed  a hungry pup.

People can put up a dozen arguments for the most essential thing in life But I say, without compassion, we're all nothing. Without it we become mere machines living our daily lives, devoid of color or flavor, live not because we want to but because we have to, or worse not live at all. Just plainly exist. Just imagine for a moment, what would we be like if our Mothers had not kissed us good night..? What would we be if our Father or Brothers refused to play catch with us..? What would we be, if our pet dogs didn't act the way they do now..?

Love has this way of surviving and enduring, prolonging the lives of those who embrace it. When we ponder upon it, the notion that arises amazes us, brings us to our knees and humbles us. What amazes us is Love's ability to persevere through the tiniest cracks of inhumane systems. What humbles us that Love has this way of seeping into the stoniest of hearts, and the coldest of places. It is a delusion, an insane belief that the longest, darkest and the coldest nights can be the warmest and the brightest and when we believe in it with all our hearts, something even stranger happens. It becomes true. For some, this notion is terrifying; for some it is reassuring; for some its inspiring; for others it means nothing. Ask yourselves this, where d'you stand in this beautifully chaotic mess..? What sense does this nonsense make to you..?

If Love is the truth, then let it break my heart...
If Love is fear, then lead me to the dark...
If Love is a game, I'm playing all my cards...
What is Love..?
#MoreToCome

The Tipping Point

How many among us stopped to wonder about the truth that we are told everyday..? How many of us take a minute out of day and think about what we have done for our country..? This world..? How many of us have truly felt that it is our right, our responsibility to our society, to our children and to ourselves to make the right decisions..? The answers to these question, all of them rhetorical, may appall that few of us who actually give a shit. But, sadly enough no one cares enough to raise these questions, let alone ponder upon them. And why would anyone. As long as our hands are clean and our lives without troubles, why would we want in on the 'the most touchy subject'..? Let me tell you why...

The concept of Democracy was first formed when men wanted to exercise the divine gift of free will. They will be the ones to decide who is gonna rule them. The King will be decided by the people, because, well because he's the people's King. Simple as that. The people would choose someone worthy of sitting atop the mighty throne, worthy of leading such people to glory, capable of protecting them from any harm that may come. Such was the beginning of, what would later come to be, the biggest farce in the history of mankind. What was supposed to be system where people were free to choose the best leader, we are forced to choose the less crappy one. We are intimidated and much worse fooled by the sweet words of power hungry people in our society who have no intention whatsoever of leading our countries to greatness. Those who indeed are brave enough to raise their voices are rendered silent by the oppressive bullies, who project false ideologies and start counting their money almost immediately when they reach the big chair. All they aim to do is to stop hard anyone who tries to question them and remain powerful.

There was this one man who rightly put the essence of Democracy o the most terse way possible. His name was Abe Lincoln and he said, "Government by the people, to the people and for the people". And the most important part of the above words: people. Yes, it is we the people who have to choose how we are governed. It is not a privilege, its a duty of each and every one of us. It is our duty to question each one who comes forward claiming to lead us, for us. It is our duty to examine ourselves, to put to test every one of our intentions as an individual to our society and as a society. We are all cogs in this huge machine called our society and unless we start realizing our collective importance, this machine cannot and will not work. For those of us who pretend like this is not your problem, I recount the words of Lincoln again. You are the people, who he had a vision for, and every single instant you fail to act spells nothing but YOUR failure. The greatest strength of true Democracy is a well informed electorate. Be informed, not ignorant.

We as the members of this new generation are at a tipping point, a point when there are gonna be conversations.Conversations questioning the very purpose of a Government. Conversation questioning if the Government exists for the people or is it every man for himself. Everyone of us has a chance to sit and frame that debate, a debate that could forever alter the course history from this point onward. We are given this chance to change our worlds, a dream all of us have when we see the flags of our fathers.We are given this opportunity to break the barriers that we have imposed upon ourselves. The question: Do we take it or do we walk away..?
#MoreToCome

The Trouble Tree

I love reading the Chicken Soup for The Soul books. They're all filled with heartwarming stories of little incidents around us that are filled with beauty and make us feel good about being human. This is one such story that spoke to me:

I was travelling from Los Angeles to Phoenix when in the middle of nowhere my car unfortunately broke down. It was a particularly hot summer afternoon and I was praying to the heavens that someone would show and give me a ride. I had almost given up hope when a truck pulled up next to my car and the driver climbed out of it and walked towards me. He was a middle aged man, blonde and rugged and spoke in a low voice. Gently, he inquired about my car and offered to tow the car to the next town which incidentally where his home was. By the time we reached his place and left the car for repair at a garage it was nightfall. He invited me to spend the night at his house, and I rendered helpless by the closed motels reluctantly agreed.

We reached his home a little while later. It was a small house, cozy and welcoming. It had a yard out front well trimmed and contained a single tree. Before the man walked into his house he touched the tree in a strange manner like he was removing an imaginary shirt and hanging it up on the tree. When he walked into his house afterwards he seemed a completely different person. The man who was utterly exhausted a minute ago shouted in joy as his children ran toward him. He played with his daughter, helped his son with his homework, kissed his wife and told her he loved her, so full of love that we can only feel jealous of. All the while I watched with absolute awe how a man can change so quickly.

The next morning while walking out of the house he did the same strange thing with the tree again. He touched it as though he was putting on an invisible shirt. By this time I wasn't able to control my curiosity. So I recounted to him about last night and asked him what he did with the tree. He said, "I call it the trouble tree Mr. Graham. Every time I come home from work I remove whatever stress, or pain or anger I pick on my job and hang them on this tree. When I go inside my house I am free of all those problems and I can love my family and children wholly. When I go to work next morning I take my problems fro the tree because there's no use in running away from your problems or passing it on to someone else" and he started walking leaving me speechless and unable to move. I looked back at the Trouble Tree and there it stood oblivious to the fact that it was an Angel that half the world is looking for today.

We all have problems everywhere every second of our lives. There's no place on Earth where we can be without problems. Or maybe that;s the wrong way to look at things. It only seems that a problem free space is impossible because we carry our problems with us like a burden that honestly need not be carried so much. Unaware of this we take out our frustration on people around us and dreadfully on our loved ones. When we do that we set into motion a chain reaction which ends only when we are completely destroyed. After that we regret doing those things which is absolutely pointless and unnecessarily painful. Drop that burden people and start living your life. Life not about those problems you face, they are just parts of life. There's more to life than just work so start living.
#MoreToCome

The Divine Gift

I love reading the Greek Mythology. Among all other cultures in the world the Greek is the only one which portrays its Gods to have human emotions. In the mythology the Gods feels anger, greed, lust ego and so on. Not omnipotent and definitely not benevolent. From what I'm given to understand they live in constant fear of humans not worshiping them. A true testament to the statement: "...created from His own image...". Breaks the whole barrier between God and Human. Anyway I'm straying from my point...

One well known story from the Greek Mythology is of the Titan Prometheus stealing fire from the Gods and giving it to humans, for which he was banished to spend the rest of his immortal life chained to a mountain in penance while his liver was eaten by a vulture everyday only to be regrown (typical Gods). He was eventually freed by Hercules (typical Demi-Gods). But a lesser known myth is of the creation of Humans. It is said that Prometheus shaped the humans from clay and breathed life into us while Athena bestowed upon us the Gift of Reasoning. I do not care much for the creation of Humans. Hell I'd go so far to say the Earth would be better off without humans. But what cannot be overlooked is the latter...Athena's Gift.

Man has always questioned the things around him. He was able to walk upright because he questioned walking on all fours. He was able to fabricate clothes out of vegetation because he questioned being naked. He was able to invent wheel because he reasoned it was easier to move things around that way. We invented all kinds of arts and crafts because we reasoned living surrounded by beauty and good taste. We lived every moment because we questioned 'just existing'.

And somewhere along the way, we lost it all... Somewhere along the way living was no more our quest; it was survival. Somewhere along the way we lost the sense of beauty and started questioning its worth. Somewhere along the way we lost sight of the purpose of living our own lives and questioned the worth of life.

The power to question and reason is analogous to fire. It can shed light as well as burn down. And history's biggest horror is that Humans have been using this burning ember to burn down its very purpose while enlightening only a little for the past century. It is a pity when we see that this gift that was blessed upon us has only been used to climb over one another instead of advancing as one. This boon is being used as a curse.

We all come into this world the same way: covered in flesh and blood, kicking and screaming. We grow up discovering the little joys in the world and seeing things as they are, with no ulterior motive. And somewhere along the way we get it into our heads that we are destined to greatness and we start to lose sight of what we are really meant to be: Humans. Instead we conform ourselves to daily routines and slave everyday for a future that may or may not exist. We stop being curious and that part of us that wants to question things, to reason, to learn new things and have new adventures in life becomes dormant and eventually dies... Just ask yourselves this question before you go to sleep guys: Are we really meant to live like this..?
#MoreToCome

The Greater Fool

Ever since I started this blog, there have been a lot of people who came forward with appreciations or good opinions about this space. There have been many more who questioned the very purpose of such a blog. One person just asked me, "Why..?"... just like that. And it was a very good question. So good, that it got me thinking. Why indeed..? Why did I start this blog..? There is nothing in this world that exists without a reason. What's my reason for doing this..? And it wasn't long before the answer became apparent to me.

For as long as I can remember I found solace in very few things in life. I found that only a few things made me happy. I would start reading a book and I would be lost in this world for the next few hours or so having no idea of what's going on around me. I didn't care and I just couldn't. And it is the same with writing. When I start writing I find myself in a place that was free of scrutiny, free of any restrictions whatsoever. I can just write and there's not much anyone can do about it. Slowly I found out that it is one of the ways I can give voice to my ideas without having to stifle myself or be afraid what others might say. It was that one place where what I write matters only to me and I have only one critic to judge my ideas: myself. I started writing when I was in high school and have continued writing ever since. I don't mean to assume the pretentious position of a moral authority nor do I claim what I write is exceptional. But ever since I started I have tried to do right by the pen and no matter how amateurish my work is I have always taken pride in it. It was during one of those episodes of self oblivion that I realized something...

Everyone who takes up the pen or more plainly everyone who gains a voice loud enough to make the world to take notice of us are presented with a task, a duty. It is optional. We may choose it or we may walk away but if we do choose it there is no going back.We all are presented with a duty towards the world towards humanity to proclaim facts as they are , truth as it is. No matter how small or insignificant we are we all have this duty. Our only moral compass: our conscience. We have to lose all inclinations that we may have towards anything except one: Truth. We are not allowed to have compassion, nor are we allowed to sugarcoat what we try to say. We have to deliver the truth smacking in the face of everyone who is willing to listen and those who are willing to listen do not mind because they know that truth is supposed to smack you across the face. No matter how insignificant we may be no matter how loud we are, we owe it to this world to shout out the hard truth without impediment without reservations for we are the voice that shout for those whose voices are repressed. We are the voices of those people who cannot shout out anymore. Because when we shout it doesn't matter if our voices aren't loud enough. It doesn't matter if some people are forcing you to stop. Because someone is always listening to what we have to say when we say the right thing. Someone is always listening when we tell the truth...

They have a term for people like me who think we should proclaim the truth to this world as loudly as possible: The Greater Fool. I got this from a TV show and I don't care where it is from as long as its correct. It is an economic term for a person who buys a worthless commodity in hopes of selling it to some 'Greater Fool' who comes along at a higher price. The Greater Fool is a person with a perfect blend of ego and self delusion to think that he can succeed where others have failed. But the catch is the whole world was built by Greater Fools. When I look at it that way, it makes me wanna say one thing: I want to be a Greater Fool.
#MoreToCome

In Pursuit of the Ultimate Truth...

There are a lot of questions posed by humanity over the centuries. Some are simple, some are overly profound and some are plainly pointless. But human nature to question and reason has been its greatest gift for it led us where we exactly are. Or maybe it is a curse. Either way it is a power of unfathomable magnitude. Depending on how it is used it will prove to be the greatest step forward or the very undoing of Humanity. Over the evolutionary timeline of the human mind we have brought to question the fundamental reason for the existence of life. Why do everyone of us are alive..? Towards what goal do we toil everyday..? What is our purpose..? All our life we run in pursuit of the very reason for our existence. We gave many names for it: Fate, Destiny...The Ultimate Truth. Slowly but eventually man realized that the pursuit of this Ultimate Truth, the Higher Truth is nothing but the pursuit of our origins, the starting point of everything, the beginning. We ponder over this mystery that is the reason for creation of all things in the Universe, creation of the Universe itself. We gave this mystery a name - a name that would be the biggest misunderstanding, whose meaning would be distorted beyond our wildest imagination - GOD.

Somehow whenever I say God, my mind automatically shifts to Morgan Freeman in a crisp white suit, widening his arms ever so slightly and saying "I am God...". Call it Bruce Almighty, but somehow that is where it goes. But who is God..? That is a question that is yet to be answered. Everyone has their own version of God. Before we ask that question we are forced to ask more questions which may appear to be childish. But is that a problem..? After all children are supposed to be closest to God. So, let us start thinking like children. If God created the entire Universe, where was He born..? Rephrasing, where was He created..? Does this mean that there is an entity that is higher than God..? What is that entity called then..? The more we think about these questions the more complicated things become. What does this all mean..? All these questions are those raised based on the current theological theories. Does this mean that somehow these theories are peppered with holes..?

The answer appears slowly after pondering hours and hours over these doubts. God isn't an old man with a white beard sitting atop a throne overlooking us all. God, is a concept... Being a concept it can only be felt and hard to comprehend otherwise... For men of cloth it is whatever imaginable form that they give it. For atheists it is the epitome of the highest knowledge. For men of science it is that mysterious equation that created the universe. For idealists it is that driving idea. For rebels it is that spark that burns down a forest.  What made a desert handyman die for the sins of people he barely knew ? What made lay on the cross and beg for others' forgiveness ? What made an Argentinian doctor take up arms and fight for those who couldn't fight for themselves ? What made a humble boy from the backyards of Jamaica sing a whole country of people to their freedom ? What force was behind a man who spent 30 years in jail, that he came out ready to forgive the people who put him there ? 

 Simply put : God is anything that brings us to our knees and weep in joy. God is anything that makes us realize our position and drives us to be more. God is that mysterious spark that makes the strong realize that they exist to protect the weak and the others to realize that their weakness is only so they could become stronger. God is that eternal melody that sounds in the hearts of the people willing to listen. God, is that one word that contains the wisdom of a million books. God, is that one word, that makes us realize the beginning and the end.

Genesis and Catastrophe...

It has been quite sometime since I last posted an entry in this blog of mine and although I want to blame it on a lot of different things, I cannot. It is because, the truth is less ridiculous than any other reason I can come up with. The truth is I've just been lazy to sit before my laptop and type my mind out. Moreover, I've been drawing bank on ideas to write about. But I'm back now, and hopefully for good.

It was in the spur of one of those countless moments of joblessness that I chanced upon the idea for my next entry. When I was thinking, "I've got no idea what I'm gonna write about in my next entry" there was the proverbial bulb in my mind that came on..."IDEA!". Why don't I write about idea. But it was a delicate and a vast topic and that frightened me a little bit at first. I mean, it was not like I was gonna write an Inception part-2, but still, words are powerful and when those words are written about a powerful topic such as this no matter where it comes from, they can have effects of gigantic proportions. Even if they come from a source as insignificant as me... But I set my eyes on the target and started nonetheless.

Come to think of it, there is no proper definition for "an idea". There exists a few descriptions for it but none of them come close to the potential hidden within that word, the potential to create or destroy an entire world. Idea cannot be imprisoned within words, it cannot be described as a spark of thought that is a seed for a consequence. No, an idea is more than that...

I saw this spark of fire, a spark born of my mind...

I kept it in a hollowed tree, to protect it, to nurture it...

And lo! Behold its power, for it hath burned down the forest,

does it matter if the flame is big or small..? For it will burn down a forest regardless...

This was written by a poet who lived in the 1920's. And I think he has captured the very essence of idea. It doesn't matter if the idea is big or small. It doesn't matter if it is possible, impossible, out of reach. All it need is that hollow of a tree and it will burn gloriously. An idea, doesn't need a platform to be conveyed nor does it need an agenda to be propagated... all it needs is a mind that can think and reason and it spreads faster than a wildfire, glorious and enlightening. An idea is what makes all the difference between a absolute catastrophe and genesis, an idea is what bridges ignorance and enlightenment. One doesn't have to think hard to have an idea, because it doesn't discriminate, it doesn't care who you are or where you're from as long as you have that thirst to bring change. One little idea can change the fate of an entire nation... all we have to do is listen to that voice in our hearts, nurture it, strengthen it with our spirits and when the time is right let it take flight.

 Yes, an idea is a living thing, for it lives within us, resides in our hearts in our minds, living of the frustrations that we come across, frustrations that are caused by those yearnings for a change, living of that insatiable hunger to make a difference, living of that feeling that drives us to be more than what we are everyday. And when the moment arrives that we cannot take anymore of those frustrations and that hunger, it comes bursting forth and brings us to our knees for then we become what we were truly meant to be: Human.
#MoreToCome