Gotta be some kind of record...that someone who claims to love writing cannot come up with something worthwhile for three whole months...can we have a bloody applause everyone..? And if anyone out there cannot understand what's going on, that was the voice of my frustration. Had to get it out of the system, and now that it is out, we can move on. It is irrelevant, why, but nevertheless here goes: I've spent the last three months of my life brain dead at my office desk, unable to spew out a word, that might help me impress, the few people who read this blog. Actually, it's been longer, the last post about Love was complete bullshit. I don't know where it comes from or what part of me it feeds off of, but whenever I sit before my computer , I feel this impending and seemingly solid urge to write to impress.
Wow, did I just make up a catch phrase there: To Write to impress..? Perfect bottom line for the United Posers Alliance of which sadly I think I might be a member of. But I'm done, I'm done writing for the faceless people out there who may or may not take what I have to say seriously, I'm done trying to impress them with Unicorns or other bullshit topic that have no obvious or subtle relevance to our lives, I'm done writing for anyone else's eyes altogether. This is not because I cannot find any idea to write upon, this is not because I cannot see beyond the blank screen in front of me. No, the reason for this is far more fundamental. I read my past entries again and again, and save a few, I cannot say that I've done an honest job. Not to myself, not to my blessing of an urge to feel better when I write, not to my teachers who first taught me to write. I read my entries and all I do is gouge my eyes with a three prong fork and shove it up my nose to my brain 'cos clearly it has no idea what my eyes were reading. It was a extremely profane insult to all those who taught me anything in life.
You see, teachers teach students not because they have an obligation, not because they have nothing else to do and certainly not because they cannot do anything else. They teach because they're one of the few souls left in this mundane world who believe that they can make a difference. They believe if they try to influence 50 minds in a good way at least one would be changed for the better. And that's, more than enough reward for them. And how do I know this..? I don't. The above was stated by my Mother word for word who used to be a professor. So I'm done insulting my teachers who are people I meet everyday who have new things to impart to me, to educate me on an everyday basis. I'm done insulting the greatest teacher of them all, my conscience. After all, anyone who can insult himself to impress a few faceless people can go fuck himself, for he's lower than a worm in the hierarchy of all things living.
So, there you go people, if anyone cares to read, I'm sorry but you may not find things written in this space in the future to your liking, but I cannot live with insulting myself for the sake of someone who may or may not exist. No more, happy fluffy stuff that makes your life feel like a rainbow, if you need that go back to reading Enid Blyton, no disrespect, but in the mean time come up with a plan to grow up. I'm sorry faceless stranger but I have no obligation to satisfy your need for a more supporting and inspirational material; I am not Chicken Soup for your soul. I am someone who wishes to write what he wants to write unobstructed and uncensored in his own little space, and that little space is called Integrity.
Whoever's reading this you should try doing this, ask yourself this question, whatever you're doing: am I doing this for myself..? Am I being honest to myself..? Most times the answer will be No. And when you arrive upon that revelation, say, "Fuck this...I'm gonna do what I wanna do and there's no one with guts enough to stop me..." Stop sticking to the norms that was set by someone who really has nothing whatsoever to do with your life, much less your decisions. If you can't defy the rules directly at least venture to do something that is equivalent to metaphorically sticking it to this rotten system. It's about time we took control of our own worlds and destroy anyone who even thinks about locking us within our own walls. It's about time we clean our toilets and kick in the asses anyone who tries to take a dump in it. Try it guys. It's actually quite relieving. I think I'm gonna sleep like a baby tonight after all.
...and we broke free of our chains and raised our bloody arms
our body weak, but drew the strength from our stout souls,
and uttered a roar, that sent chills down the spines of cowards...
#MoreToCome
Wow, did I just make up a catch phrase there: To Write to impress..? Perfect bottom line for the United Posers Alliance of which sadly I think I might be a member of. But I'm done, I'm done writing for the faceless people out there who may or may not take what I have to say seriously, I'm done trying to impress them with Unicorns or other bullshit topic that have no obvious or subtle relevance to our lives, I'm done writing for anyone else's eyes altogether. This is not because I cannot find any idea to write upon, this is not because I cannot see beyond the blank screen in front of me. No, the reason for this is far more fundamental. I read my past entries again and again, and save a few, I cannot say that I've done an honest job. Not to myself, not to my blessing of an urge to feel better when I write, not to my teachers who first taught me to write. I read my entries and all I do is gouge my eyes with a three prong fork and shove it up my nose to my brain 'cos clearly it has no idea what my eyes were reading. It was a extremely profane insult to all those who taught me anything in life.
You see, teachers teach students not because they have an obligation, not because they have nothing else to do and certainly not because they cannot do anything else. They teach because they're one of the few souls left in this mundane world who believe that they can make a difference. They believe if they try to influence 50 minds in a good way at least one would be changed for the better. And that's, more than enough reward for them. And how do I know this..? I don't. The above was stated by my Mother word for word who used to be a professor. So I'm done insulting my teachers who are people I meet everyday who have new things to impart to me, to educate me on an everyday basis. I'm done insulting the greatest teacher of them all, my conscience. After all, anyone who can insult himself to impress a few faceless people can go fuck himself, for he's lower than a worm in the hierarchy of all things living.
So, there you go people, if anyone cares to read, I'm sorry but you may not find things written in this space in the future to your liking, but I cannot live with insulting myself for the sake of someone who may or may not exist. No more, happy fluffy stuff that makes your life feel like a rainbow, if you need that go back to reading Enid Blyton, no disrespect, but in the mean time come up with a plan to grow up. I'm sorry faceless stranger but I have no obligation to satisfy your need for a more supporting and inspirational material; I am not Chicken Soup for your soul. I am someone who wishes to write what he wants to write unobstructed and uncensored in his own little space, and that little space is called Integrity.
Whoever's reading this you should try doing this, ask yourself this question, whatever you're doing: am I doing this for myself..? Am I being honest to myself..? Most times the answer will be No. And when you arrive upon that revelation, say, "Fuck this...I'm gonna do what I wanna do and there's no one with guts enough to stop me..." Stop sticking to the norms that was set by someone who really has nothing whatsoever to do with your life, much less your decisions. If you can't defy the rules directly at least venture to do something that is equivalent to metaphorically sticking it to this rotten system. It's about time we took control of our own worlds and destroy anyone who even thinks about locking us within our own walls. It's about time we clean our toilets and kick in the asses anyone who tries to take a dump in it. Try it guys. It's actually quite relieving. I think I'm gonna sleep like a baby tonight after all.
...and we broke free of our chains and raised our bloody arms
our body weak, but drew the strength from our stout souls,
and uttered a roar, that sent chills down the spines of cowards...
#MoreToCome
Masterpiece from any1 who aspires to write something that may ought to inspire a few on the outskirts of life.
ReplyDeleteKeep going man... Cheers!!..
ReplyDelete